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First Fetish Play Date Guide In 2018

-- Last updated date: 12/7/17 --

Here you go

Although every playdate still has a fair level excitement leading up to it, your very first actual play date will probably have you a bit nervous and those kinds of jitters are very natural.

Not in the last place because you have to put everything you've studied and read about into actual practice now.

So this guide should help you out when it comes to things you need to remember. But as it is your first play date, and maybe your partner's as well. Feel free to make it your very first play experience, there is no need to follow this guide to the letter.

Things to remember in advance

It might have been mentioned before, but make sure you meet someone at least once before you actually engage in a playdate. Also talk to them online or on the phone and discuss your do's and don'ts beforehand.

This makes sure you both know your limits and should prevent "heat of the moment" accidents or those awkward moments you could do without. Of course, keep in mind that things can change, and so a safeword especially when doing your first playdate is a must.

And as the last tip, make sure you have plenty of time. If you are not playing at someone's home but at a hotel or BDSM venue make sure you have the space for the night. There is nothing worse than being in a happy place and having to be yanked out of it because of lack of time.

Date preparations

You are of course a very clean person, but hygiene is a must and is a little more than just brushing your teeth. Playdates involve a lot of close physical contact, which means regardless of which role you have in your scene you will get up close and personal with each other. And unless you both have a body odour fetish you might want to be nice and fresh, everywhere. And depending on the fact if your date has planned some intimacy make sure that part of your anatomy is clean and well taken care of. What you regard as such is entirely up to you and your date. But being clean is most definitely a must. Make sure your kit for the night is packed. If you are the topping (Dominant) party, make sure you have everything you need and make sure you can get at it easily. If you are the bottom party, don't forget to bring a blanket so you can enjoy some warmth after your playdate and a nice warm cuddle is always good.

Be on time

Depending on your venue it would do for both of you to be on time. Not extremely early, but just quite one time. There will be nerves enough without having the added anxiety of having to wait on someone.

It also gives you time to get used to the venue, each other and the fact that soon enough you are going to be very intimate with each other.

If you can have a (non-alcoholic) drink to release some tension and talk a little bit, it will make your night go a lot easier.


And now it's time. You now have to practice what you might have preached. And of course, it is exciting, very exciting. But just the same, take your time. Listen to your partner, listen to your own body. There is no need to rush, just make sure you are taking your time and not causing any unwanted harm. Feel free to create your own kinky bubble, enjoy everything your partner gives you, and everything you are giving. It might not always go as fluent as the things you've seen, but this is your first date, so that really doesn't matter. And practice will make perfect. So enjoy!


Aftercare is a much-discussed topic in the world of kink. Mostly it's a warm nice cuddle after a very intimate scene. Something for everyone to enjoy. Make sure your date is doing ok before saying goodbye. If you've had some intense play make sure both of you can go home safely, or stay the night if you can. Just make sure you don't send someone off if they are a bit woozy or emotional. It's not nice and will not make you very well loved.

You are ready!

Now you've read this short guide you can be assured you will have a great first playdate. So enjoy yourself. Enjoy!